Long ago and far away, Fred “F.M.” Cornog (East River Pipe) had been living in Hoboken Station, when his future wife and adopted baby’s momma Barbara Powers took him in and gave him a home recorder to play with – a 388 mini studio. And play with it he did.
After working long shifts at a New Jersey Home Depot quietly humming the chorus of “Hollaback Girl” to himself (“This shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S”), Cornog escaped again and again to his happy place (East River Pipe) to record the songs of his latest album, “What Are You On?”
Not having had the pleasure of East River Pipe’s acquaintance, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was in for as it’s been sixteen years and five, now six albums later. And East River Pipe is still kicking it with the same damn 388 mini studio. For, although aware of his critical acclaim - namely for his 1999 album “The Gasoline Age” – and his penchant for writing songs about drugs and the meaninglessness of all things, these days one, such as myself, might be afraid East River Pipe would be a little less Elliott Smith and a little more James Frey.
I’ve now learned what, doubtless, many of you are already knew: An East River crack pipe, although bad for you - has its moments. Much like this album.
Strange as it seems, East River Pipe’s semi-misogynistic love songs “Crystal Queen”, “I’ll Walk My Robot Home” and “The Ultrabrite Bitch” are the highlights of this album. The former, his synth pop ballad, is near perfect in its pathetic low life crushin’. As is to be expected, all these babies are, in some form, about one thing and one thing only – drugs. “What Are You On?” starts off on a humorous note with the oddly catchy song “What Does T.S. Eliot Know About You?” (everbody sing, “T.S. is my new best friend!”) “Druglife” also garners a chuckle. Such as when Cornog sings, “Should have known something was wrong when last week you tossed my favorite bong”. The funny go down hill from there. BTW, T.S. Eliot says he’s never met you before...
Erstwhile back at the ranch, “Some Dreams Can Kill You” and “Life Is A Landfill” bleakly trudge to new lows. “Trivial Things” is an exercise in pointlessness and “Shut Up and Row” is the Goodnight Moon of the bunch, with only eight curt lyrics to its rude name.
Disregarding the subject matter, and with several exceptions (“Dirty Carnival”, “What Are You On”, “Absolutely Nothing”, etc.) the songs of “What Are You On?” are strangely alluring - as fuzz pop pretty as they are ready for an intervention. |