Most people consider it a bad thing to be derivative. Well, I say, Aristotle was pretty derivative of Plato, and that seemed to work out pretty well for everybody. I win a lot of arguments with philosophy. No, the problem with most of the bands who get slapped with the “D” tag is that they choose to rip off bands who should never, ever be emulated. Three Doors Down are awful because they want to be Creed, and Creed wanted to be Alice in Chains, and Alice in Chains wrote one good song, ever (“Would”). So, you see, three bands cannot survive on the merits of one tune.
Which brings us to the Exploding Hearts, who had the good sense to rip off bands I love, mostly early Clash and the Ramones. There is nothing groundbreaking here, I’ll admit it from the start. But there are ten great songs, and since we’re never going to get another Rocket to Russia, we can make do with the next best thing: sharp, three-minute poppy punk songs with plenty of attitude and no pretensions.
Like their forefathers, the Exploding Hearts make rebellion anthems out of the lamest of music, and Guitar Romantic owes as much to the 1950s as it does to 1977. “Sleeping Aids and Razorblades” is basically doo-wop with distorted guitars, and the same can be said of “I’m a Pretender,” though only the former includes the classic lyric, “You told all my friends I’m a retard.” “Throwaway Style,” probably the best song on the album, nicks early 60s R&B drums to tell the story of a guy who’s ditching his girl for good if she won’t put out one last time. See, the record’s called Guitar … Romantic.
So here we have an album with all the trappings of a punk classic: the obnoxious, color-clashing album art, the ubiquitous “whoa-oa” harmonies (“Thorns in Roses”), mentions of glue-sniffing on the Tilt-a-Whirl (“Jail Bird”), and enough who-cares swagger to piss off authority figures the world over. Buy this album and tell your friends it’s a lost demo from the early eighties. Tell them it was recorded live in the basement at CBGBs on a two-dollar tape player. Watch you street cred skyrocket. Thank us later. |